I have been accused of positivity my whole life. My mom says I look at everything through rose colored glasses. My husband calls it getting on my “tra la la” trail. They kind of say it like an insult but that’s alright by me. My positivity is by choice. I have learned to let all the little sh*t go and my life is much happier as a result.

Why let life’s little hassles get you down?

Forget the 80:20 rule here. I get crazy ambitious about my happiness. I only allow myself to get shook by 10% of the sh*t that frustrates me.

Why is this important? Because then you can focus all of your positive energies on people and projects than matter. This is one of the simple secrets to living your best life.

As a mere human, of course my ass burns a little when someone cuts in front of me in traffic waving their middle finger. I make it a point to smile, wave and wish them a pleasant day. Their life must really suck to be so rude. It’s called forced empathy.

When my husband picks his toes, which is sadly often, I have a short fantasy of leaving him for an Italian bodybuilder who would never do something so disgusting. But then I quickly realize it’s just not possible to find someone without at least one annoying habit. So I just smile and move to another room.

Letting sh*t go works for medium and large issues too. After I have worked incredibly hard and do my absolute best, sure I feel bummed if my efforts are judged harshly. However, I remember to stay calm, learn what I can, dust off my ego and get right back in the game. Wallowing in disappointment is simply not productive.

Letting sh*t go is a skill that can absolutely be learned and you can make it an ongoing healthy habit.

Here’s three simple questions to ask yourself before you let someone or something interrupt your commitment to happiness.

Will it matter in 5 years, 5 days or even 5 minutes?

Find immediate perspective. This is where the dealing with other people comes into play. People’s behavior can be a constant source of annoyance and disappoint. But only if you let it. People typically do their best. Just smile and let that sh*t go.

Airlines, banks, doctor’s offices and other companies with which we have to do business will not always run efficiently. You are sure to find yourself very frustrated waiting on the phone or in line. Use the time wisely. Make a list of your blessings or tasks you must do once free from these minor frustrations.

You can’t fix everybody and everything. So just let that sh*’t go.

Can I learn or at least laugh at this?

If you park where you are not supposed to, you will get a ticket. You did wrong. Don’t do that sh*t again. Pay and move on.

You spilled coffee on your shirt trying to open a door with no hands. Put on your jacket, laugh and remember you are just not that coordinated.

Your boss or client wants another round of changes on a project you believe is already amazing. Pause and consider that they may have some interesting ideas to make your good work even better. Your sh*t can always be improved.

Often the things that bug us give us an opportunity for some self reflection and growth. Why does this bother me? Can I rise above it? Or, is my annoyance so silly I get to laugh at myself for a minute?

If the answer to any of this is yes….

Let that sh*t go.

Can I control this?

With so many opportunities in this exciting life, you need to focus where you can make impact. Often small obstacles but frequently very big ones like getting laid off are simply beyond our control. This happened to me after 20 years at my Disney dream job. I could only control how I responded and what I did next. So, I quickly processed denial, anger and acceptance and then used all of my experience to start my own consulting company. Guess what? Disney became one of my first clients.

You have to control the controllables. And realize quite often obstacles are opportunities to do even better.

If you can’t control it.

Let that sh*t go.

You are capable of handling anything life throws at you so move forward confidently and with the power of positivity.

Here’s the biggest secret!

You know all of the stuff that you complain about? That’s almost all little sh*t.

So, find someone to love and something interesting to do, be grateful and have fun. That’s why we are here. Not to judge every person or moment and expect it all to be perfect. Embrace the ups and downs of your journey with a smile. You are in control of your happiness. Put on those rose colored glasses, join me on that tra la la trail and start dancing your way forward.

You will create a happy life by making a commitment to let all the little  sh*t go!

 

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