Mindset & Confidence

Why This Powerful Video Has Us Fired Up In All The Right Ways

BY Nikki Casey

Now, more than ever, boss babes need to rise up and support other ambitious women who break the mold and defy definition. Be A Lady, the viral video from Cynthia Nixon, has a powerful message that's getting us fired up in all the right ways.

Chances are, if you’re a female, you’ve experienced what it’s like to never feel good enough and to be told: “just be a lady”.

Not being smart enough, being too smart.
Not being thin enough, being too thin.
Not being outgoing enough, being too outgoing.

Let’s be honest, as a woman, there is “no chance” that you haven’t felt some sort of impossible dilemma before; some sort of expectation you could never meet because you were damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

But trust me, sister, you’re not alone.

Earlier this year, an absolute killer short film was released addressing these exact kinds of impossible standards women are held to on a daily basis and girl, it’s gone viral.

Like over 8 million views on Vimeo viral… And if you haven’t seen it, go watch it now!

No seriously, I’ll wait.

Mic. Drop. Right!

So we couldn’t close out March 2020 — Women’s History Month — without shouting out it and the very real, very sensitive topics it covers.

Be a lady, the said.

What in the world does “be a lady” even mean?

In the video, Cynthia Nixon, most famous for her role as Miranda Hobbs on Sex & The City narrates a 2017 blog titled, “Be a lady, they said” written by Camille Rainville.

Here’s a snippet:

Be a lady they said. Don’t talk too loud. Don’t talk too much. Don’t take up space. Don’t sit like that. Don’t stand like that. Don’t be intimidating. Why are you so miserable? Don’t be a bitch. Don’t be so bossy. Don’t be assertive. Don’t overact. Don’t be so emotional. Don’t cry. Don’t yell. Don’t swear. Be passive. Be obedient. Endure the pain. Be pleasing. Don’t complain…

Sounds familiar right?

So imagine this for a second, if we were all in the same room together right now, and I said “stand up if you can relate to anything mentioned in the video”, I can guarantee no one would be sitting. Every. Single. One of us, has probably experienced almost all of these things at one point or another.

Which is both heartbreaking and uniting all at the same time.

So who created these impossible ideals?

While I’m sure the feminist in us all wants to say “blame it on the men”, it’s all their fault! The truth is, it’s a little bit of all of us. There’s obviously not one specific place in time we could go back to and say this is where it all began, this is where it started, but somehow, in little ways throughout history, these sorts of ideas were introduced and perpetuated until they became so common they were like the air we breathe.

And whether or not it’s our intention, each of us has played a part in reinforcing these ideas within society.

We gossip and judge each other. “She’s let herself go. She got so fat. What a know-it-all. What a slut.”

We compete with one another in unhealthy ways. “If only I looked more like that. I’ll never be as cool as her.”

We literally kill ourselves trying to be everything to everyone at all times.

And though our intention is not to add to the problem, it’s easy to see how we do.

Above all, how do we fix it?

“Be a lady, they said” lays out all the impossible expectations we’re held to, and it’s not fun to see all together there is it? #triggered

So there are two extremely important ways we can start to change the dialogue.

Firstly, we need to throw out these impossible and damaging social constructs. Throw them out girl! Or more simply…

DO whatever and BE whoever we damn right choose to!

Most importantly, there’s so much beauty in all of us, exactly as we are. Now I’m not saying it’s wrong if you want to change something about yourself. I’m saying make those decisions for you and no one else. In other words, trying to fit into what you think others want you to be is the quickest way to unhappiness.   

Secondly, we need to stop adding fuel to the fire and start supporting our fellow badass lady friends instead of judging and competing with one another.

That is to say, if you want to be accepted for who you are, why doesn’t the girl next to you also deserve that? When we come together and build each other up instead of tearing each other down imagine the magical things that can happen.

I mean, that’s what Boss Babe is all about right?

So cheers to all of you amazing women out there, be whoever the hell you want to be!

Need some inspo from some killer women? Check out 15 Badass Entrepreneurial Women That Shaped History.


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